Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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