Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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