im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
