You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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