I only kidnapped one of them. chill
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
