I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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