you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
