i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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