I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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