so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
