i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
