somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
