Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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