I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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