I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
