first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
