just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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