Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
