I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Help. Why am I so naked?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
