the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
