how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
