My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize