My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
