saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
