She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
