i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
