I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
