I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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