New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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