ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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