why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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