you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
