i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
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