Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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