it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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