p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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