Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
