he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
