my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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