then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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