question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize