The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
