Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
