Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
God, I missed his penis.
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