I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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