it wasn't lemon gatorade
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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