he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
