someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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