Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
