Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.