Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.