WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god