Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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