Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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