Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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