I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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