Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
