All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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