I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
