bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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