Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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