you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
